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3rd house Awareness to Pluto’s 4th house Departing- Transiting Saturn as the Awakener, Saturn square Moon

This post began last year in August but for some reason I did not finish it.  But I am a Mercury retrograde conjunct Saturn in Pisces native with its ruler in the 3rd conjunct the SN. My thoughts sometimes go back down into the ether waiting for just the right trigger…and BAM. Somebody done pulled the pin on that grenade and I think it was Saturn.  I’m also thinking even though Pluto is now firmly in the 5th house, it’s still sitting on the cusp of the 4th and 5th houses.

The inspiration for the original post and now realizing what should have been part 1 of the 3rd house Awareness to Pluto’s 4th house Departing, came from a post on a astrology group that I used to be involved with. The question presented to us-when or what were your worse transits. I said July/Aug 1979. Now I don’t remember exactly what month it was.. but I know it was summertime, after school was out (June), after the holiday (July 4th), after my birth mother’s birthday and a hot early Sunday morning. OK to clarify since I use and will be using the term birth mother and birth father -I am not adopted. I had also mentioned that Saturn thru the 12th conjuncting my Moon the last time it was in Leo was also rough because it brought that life altering event day back to my memory as I had for years carried on as if nothing happened and how I had glossed over the reality of my childhood. Saturn’s conjunction of the Moon was the beginning of a new Saturn cycle about events and situations of the Moon and looking back at all that has gone on before.

So, as I edit this post transiting Saturn is conjunct my natal Neptune setting off Big G-my grand square or g-square as I like to call it. Big G consists of  my 3rd house Neptune conjunct the South Node in Scorpio opposing the 9th house North Node in Taurus squaring the 12th house Moon in Leo and the 6th house Venus in Aquarius.  This is the 1st square of Saturn and the Moon since the conjunction. And whatdayah know, my Progressed Moon has recently crashed in on this party as well conjuncting my North Node along with the Progressed Sun in waning conjunction. Ah ha…transiting Saturn opposing the Progressed Moon. The 4th/10th dynamics that I briefly mentioned in the last post at play here.

And adding fireworks to this party-Uranus. Yep, Uranus. The crazy part is, I just realized Uranus has been poppin’ off smoke bombs of wake your a** up in Big G for the last 3 years. First by sesquisquare/sesquiquadrate (135 aspect) to my Moon when @ 5-6 degrees of Aries. When Uranus moved to exact conjunction of my Sun, it activated my Sun/Venus semi-square, something that I picked up on and wrote about in “Transiting Minor Aspects-Not So Minor”.

Pluto has also dropped its own A bombs in the G starting with the Moon while in the early degrees of Capricorn while plowing through my 4th, stealthily leading the charge of reformation.

Then it hit me to go back and re-read to connect the dots…something I do a lot with a natal Mercury retrograde.  In Liz Greene’s book “Saturn- A New Look at an Old Devil”  she says this:

There is much that goes on within a human being of which he remains unaware, and this does not apply only to repressed emotions…If the individual makes no effort to expand his consciousness so that he can understand the nature of this total unfoldment and can begin to cooperate with it, then it will seem that he is the pawn of fate and has no control over his life. He can only earn his freedom by learning about himself so that he can understand what value a particular experience has for the development of his whole self. And nothing stimulates a man into this kind of exploration faster than frustration, which is the gift of Saturn…”

Erin Sullivan in her book “Saturn in Transit” refers to transiting Saturn as “Awakener”. Liz Greene basically says the same thing above. I know you’re saying Saturn as a Awakener?!! WTH are you talking about?!! Saturn is the task master, the disciplinary, the authority, the oppressor, the blocker, dark, heavy and all those things that sound absolutely nothing like a awakener or liberator, right? I was thinking the same thing when I first read that statement too.

But it really is true. For one thing Saturn ruled the sign of Aquarius before Uranus was discovered and is still the co-ruler of the sign of Aquarius which is well…the awakener, the liberator.  How and why do I see Saturn as a awakener?

Well when Saturn was in Leo and transiting my 12th house, I decided to stop putting relaxers of any kind in my hair.  That was an awakening/liberation/rebellion whatever you want to call it,  from the accepted standard of straight hair as the epitome of beauty. Saturn crossing my Ascendant took that awakening/liberation/rebellion even further by making dreadlocks of my hair. I also began to study astrology starting with my chart to find out why I was not feeling like my normal, relatively cheery, I’m here to help, let’s get stuff done self. Awakening my mind which the Moon represents in Vedic astrology. During this transit as I also began to acknowledge whether I wanted to or not, the repressed emotions about the very traumatic even in my life that occurred in 1979, the sexual molestation from my birth father, and the emotionally abusive relationship with my mother for the first time in my life.

Saturn transiting my 3rd house activating the mind and now square my Moon has awakened/liberated from the grave, the 12th house Moon secrets for the first time about that event in 1979 to family other than my husband and now to the world. It’s also made me face the reality of my 12th house Moon and let go of the hope (Neptune) that I have or ever had a family.  Like Liz Green said in the quote above, ya gotta EARN your freedom by doing the work. Pluto, Uranus and Neptune started the deep background dirty work but Saturn has laid it on the table in 3D where even Ray Charles can see what’s been going on.

To be continued…

 

 

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3rd house Awareness to Pluto’s 4th house Departing Message pt1

I’ve found it quite coincidental that Mercury was retrograde ( I have Mercury retrograde natally in Pisces), Saturn and the North Node were all in Scorpio in my 3rd house and of course Pluto forming an exact square to Uranus who is transiting my 8th house, during Pluto’s last weeks in my 4th house.

What has occurred to me during this time is that having a Pluto-Uranus conjunction means whatever house or planet in the sign of Scorpio is not only ruled by Pluto and co-ruled by Mars, but it is also greatly influenced by Uranus. I’m sure I mentioned it before but if I did not, I was born just 3 days before one of the exact conjunctions so these to heavy hitters energies work like one. For me Scorpio is on my 3rd house which has Neptune conjunct the South Node.

Secretive, combative, confusing, detached, manipulative, jealous communication inflamed by alcohol and sexual abuse. Donna Van Toen in her book “The Astrologer’s Node Book” says that the 3rd house is education for survival. From another resource which I don’t remember where I got this from “…job or health of the mother”. Hmm…

Now who does the child get this education from and I mean before they go to pre-school or kindergarten? Their parents or legal guardians. And what planets/signs/axis are representative of  the parents? Moon/Cancer/generally the 4th house for the mother, Saturn/Capricorn/10th house for the father.

I find it ironic that she uses the word “survival” in describing the 3rd house as the first thing I think of when I hear the word “survival” is being in a life or death scenario and fighting like hell to ensure that one stays on the “life” side of the equation. I bet that’s because of having Scorpio on the 3rd with the ruler in the 1st, co-ruler in the 8th. It really has been and continues to be a battle (Mars) to keep my mind (Mercury) from slipping into the abyss (Neptune) because of absolutely shocking (Uranus) communication (Mercury)and actions (Mars) from those that society teaches to honor (Saturn) and were supposed to love and protect you (Moon-4th/Saturn-10th house axis).

I tie the Moon into to this because my 3rd house Neptune-South Node conjunction, squares my 12th house Moon and 6th house Venus and opposes my 9th house North Node. This grand square has affected my life more than my mutable t-square across the angular houses (1st/7th/10th) probably because it’s in fixed signs. It’s like no matter which direction I move in somebody in my life is not gonna be happy and I’m not gonna be happy or healthy…that is if I continue to follow the status quo. According to Steven Forrest in “The Book of Pluto”  “…Born with a Pluto-Uranus aspect in the natal chart, a person has made a bid for freedom…” Oh shit, I wonder if on a unconcious level they knew this especially as I began to talk and be curious about my environment? This is probably when the dissolution of my true personality began.

So on Oct 21st, the Taurus Moon conjuncting my North Node set off my t-square. I’m sure in cahoots with Pluto to force me finally do something I should have done a very long time ago-expose my mother and father’s behavior to my mother’s side of the family which I did on November 1st-the day of the 4th exact Uranus/Pluto square. True to form, it was a sudden (Uranus) communication of a secret of a sexual nature (Pluto/Scorpio) and alcoholism (Neptune/Pisces) that I had carried around inside for 34 years.

To be continued…

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Transiting Minor Aspects-Not so Minor

Do any of you look at the minor aspects of the transiting planets? They have captured my attention for a while now as events and/or feelings emerge but I can’t see anything based on where the planets are and they are not making any major aspects to anything in my chart. However, when I count up the distance the transiting planet is from my natal planet…ah ha!

One case in point…Uranus in Aries is conjunct my 8th Aries Sun. My Sun, Virgo Ascendant and Gemini MC are the only thing I have in the lower tens, single digit degrees in my chart. So only looking at the normally used major aspects, conjunction, sextile, square, trine and opposition, the only aspect Uranus appears to be making is a conjunction to my Sun. Going with the traditional meanings of Uranus conjuncting the Sun in the 8th would probably be something like this-an unexpected (Uranus) sexual encounter (8th house) that makes one shine. Hmph!! It really pisses me off that sex is the one of the main descriptions of the 8th house. The other one- inheritance. Both are non-issues for me and clearly are not hitting close to what is going on in my life. Until..

I remember that my Sun is quincunx my Ascendant and semi-square my 6th house Venus. The semi-square is hardly ever talked about as a natal aspect and even less so by transit.  So if transiting Uranus is conjunct my Sun and in the natal chart the Sun is semi-square Venus, then transiting Uranus is semi-square my Venus. That also means that transiting Uranus is affecting my 6th house. Uh yeah, it sure has…in everything that Venus represents and 6th house matters.

Getting back to the other aspect to my Ascendant means that the Uranus/Pluto conjunction is being brought out to the fore, though it will be more so when Uranus aspects my Mars. Transiting Pluto is also semi-square my Venus and squaring my Sun. Also transiting Chiron is semi-sextile my Sun.

I have felt every one of these so-called minor aspects. Uranus and Pluto as I mentioned before, is calling for my Sun to come out of the shadows. Just this week I had to stand up for myself by saying no to a responsibility being put on me ( care-taking of someones child ) because it is the traditional responsibility of a female. Nope, I am not a “traditional” female.

English: This is an image of the planet Uranus...

English: This is an image of the planet Uranus taken by the spacecraft Voyager 2 in 1986 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If I was supposed to fill that role, I don’t think I would have been born with Uranus/Pluto conjunct my Ascendant combined with a Sun/Mars Aries conjunction and that Mars quincunxing Uranus and Pluto. My 4th and 5th houses are empty, my Venus is in Aquarius, I have nothing in Cancer and I’ve never had or wanted to have children. Helllooo!! This also brings up the hurt (Chiron) of not being seen for who I was by my father (Sun).

You see, my normal modus operandi prior to the mid-life transits was to try and do whatever I could to help out, irregardless of the cost to me and my well-being. Now I’m not saying this to paint myself as a saint. Nope. I’m actually embarrassed because I realize how I was basically a sucker and how much time and energy I have wasted on other folks self-created dramas. Time, energy and money that could have been used to find out my own dreams. Carrying this further is the fact of folks thinking they only have to talk to my husband about something that involves both of us. Excuse me?! This is 2013 not 1943!

So not only is my core getting a makeover but the vehicle in which my Sun is to travel in to do what it came here to do is being made over as well. Kinda like stripping the layers of paint off an antique piece, revealing the original finish underneath. That description is very àpropos because I grew up with mega fixed energy parents. My father was a Taurus Sun/Mercury/Uranus conjunct with an early degree Jupiter/Saturn conjunction in Taurus as well and Pluto in Leo. My mother is a Leo Sun/Jupiter/Pluto/North Node conjunct in Leo with Mercury in the late degrees of Leo and Mars in Taurus. See what I mean?

As I looked at the natal aspects that are being activated in my chart, I read in my books on these transits. “Alive and Well with Uranus“, “Alive and Well with Neptune“, “Alive and Well with Pluto” and “The Twelve Faces of Saturn” all by Bil Tierney are excellent books on the transits of these planets in the houses of your chart and the contacts to the planets in your chart.  While he does not cover the minor aspects or the major aspects specifically, he gives a very detailed description of the aspect contact.  Here’s the title to a section on Uranus/Earth Venus transits: “Breaking Habits” Yep, breaking the habit of always saying yes because I don’t want to be looked at as mean if I say no to a way of being that society says, I’m supposed to say yes to. A title for the one of the Air/Venus sections: “Rude Awakening” Oh yeah, definitely.

What I’m getting at here is that by looking at the minor aspect contacts, and reading on those contacts in addition to the obvious contact being made, the astrology starts to make sense. How do you make sense of the transits compared to what’s happening in your life?  

 

 

My Sun Will Rise

The sun rises

Jupiter in Cancer is squaring my Aries Sun while Uranus in Aries is conjunct my Sun.  As Uranus has been retrograde, it will back up over my Sun for its second run-in. Whew , I have gotten a bit of a break from Pluto, though it’s still technically squaring my Sun but not as close as Jupiter.

So what is the Sun, astrologically that is? It’s your core, deep down inside that we are to blossom into. Your life force. Your center. Literally the heart of you. The Sun is rules by the sign Leo and Leo rules the heart. It makes perfect sense because without the rays of the Sun there would be no life on earth. And for life on Earth, at least for mammals, no heartbeat means no life.  The Sun is also where you must shine to feel alive. This is something I’m still learning about…well actually all of astrology. lol

One of my favorite astrologers Donna van Toen mentioned in her tidbits of wisdom she offers from time to time  “the Sun is not “what you are”; it’s what you’re in the process of becoming…”  I do believe that is true.

Yeah, my Aries Sun being pummeled into a new form, now and will be for the next 2-3 of years.  But you know what? It needs it. Why? My Aries Sun is buried deep in the 8th house. Yep that dark, scary 8th house that no one likes to talk about. I get glimpses every so often of what that Aries Sun should be and I’ve even played the starring role a few times. But then it goes right back into its hiding spot for various reasons that I’m sure I’ll share later.

Now it’s being forced to come out and get in the game.

As I mentioned earlier the Sun is ruled by Leo which is masculine energy. The Sun is exalted in Aries meaning it’s the sign that the Sun most easily operates in and functions better than the sign it rules.  Why is that? Aries energy is masculine just like Leo’s energy but what makes it exalted I think is,  in order for Leo to really shine, it needs an audience. Whereas Aries will shine and do what it’s gonna do regardless, even if nobody else is around to see. Because it is. The Sun shines 24/7/365, whether we see it as we do on a day that’s not cloudy, or on a cloud filled day or night time.

It takes courage (Aries) to shine and follow your heart (Sun). This is part of what I’m learning.

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Astrologer Nancy Fenn, RIP

English: This is an image of the planet Uranus...

English: This is an image of the planet Uranus taken by the spacecraft Voyager 2 in 1986 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

No sure if this is Uranus transiting my 8th house and conjunct my Sun related, but I was very shocked (Uranus) to learn that astrologer Nancy Fenn had passed (8th house) a few months ago.

I was on her email list and I have had a few mini specific topic readings done with her that I still refer to 5 years later. I also helped her albeit very briefly with prep work of drawing up charts on astro.com for her readings. I never thought about it until now but she really was the first person to introduce me to an actual birth chart other than my own.  Now for some strange mysterious reason, I dropped off her email sometime in 2009 I think.  Well, Neptune is in my 3rd house and I have a 7th house Mercury in Pisces-both retrograde so that kind of thing is really not all that uncommon in my life.

How in the world did we end up crossing paths again? I was doing a search on some astrological topic as I usually do and an old post of her’s on her blog came up. I remember reading that post when it was first published but as a Mercury retrograde native, I tend to re-read things a lot-mainly because I almost always discover something else I did not pick up on before and/or I get a better understanding the 2nd time around.

So I decided to see if she was still blogging since this particular blog post was written in 2008.  The last post on this blog was 2010. I thought this was kinda odd but not so much since I knew she had other websites and might have been more active with those. However, something told me to click on her Facebook badge. That’s when I found out the news.

How or why do I think this is related to my 8th house Uranus transit? . The notification date on Facebook of her passing was May 19. May 19 was my deceased father’s birthday, who passed away suddenly of a heart attack in 1998. Leo rules the heart. One of the things the Sun represents in the birth chart is the father/authority figure.

Now how does this relate to Nancy Fenn as of course, she was not my father? I tend to think the planets in your chart can represent real people in your life. Don’t quote me on this but I think Nancy was a Leo Sun. The sign that the Sun rules is Leo.  Uranus rules things like astrology and sudden events. Uranus is also aspecting, though via a minor one, my natal Mercury.  So putting it all together, sudden insight via astrology about your father and/or an authority figure. True for me in both cases as I’m learning more about my father via astrology and Ms Nancy was an authority figure for me at the time, about astrology.

In closing, I remember her asking me why did I want to take part in her little experiment in which I replied “It seems like it’s moving me along my North Node path and it’s (astrology) helping people to understand themselves. Of course, I’m only getting the charts ready so you can do the reading but it’s something and it’s helping me to learn”.

Thank you Nancy Fenn for being a brief though positive influence in my astrological world .  RIP.

 

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Maiden Voyage in the Astro Sky

SpaceShip One

SpaceShip One (Photo credit: Jonathan Thorne CC)

Inspired by my midlife transits of Saturn opposing natal Saturn, Uranus opposing natal Uranus and Neptune squaring natal Neptune, all aspecting my natal Mercury, I ventured into the blogging world in 2008.  I had also started studying astrology beyond the common Sun sign astrology.  However I was a bit reluctant and afraid to put my thoughts out there so my writing was mainly about my new journey which I will talk about astrologically later and a few things I talked about on my YouTube channel with a scant few references to astrology.

Fast forward to 2013, with these outer planets aspecting my natal Mercury, all though this time via the so-called minor aspects and more knowledge gained of myself, I’ve been inspired or shall I say compelled to get my astrological thoughts out there. Hence the birth of this blog instead of writing about these topics on my other blog.

Oh my-I’m looking at my Current Planetary Positions app and lol, Mars is now trine my chart ruler Mercury and Mercury is trine my Mars, with Uranus conjunct my Sun and Jupiter square. Sorta fitting huh.

I hope you will Join me as RamBull (you’ll see later where this comes from) through the stars on my journey to self discovery and hopefully it will shed some light on your journey to self discovery as well.

 

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