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Neptune Pleasures

Sharing one of my Neptune pleasures is music, jazz being my favorite genre. This song is a favorite of mine for years as I have been a fan of Paul Hardcastle’s music since the late 80s.  It also feels like natal a 3rd house Neptune in Scorpio with Pluto transiting the 5th house. Inner Changes happening indeed!

Enjoy!

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More Saturn Awakening

Saturn is still performing the task 😉 of the Awakener busting down the thick layer of fog. As I mentioned in the last post Saturn is activating Big G.

Now the best description of the 12th house I’ve heard is actually from Vedic astrology. They say that the 12th house are secrets that are unknown to you.

So here’s my personal observation on a 12th house Leo Moon squaring a 3rd house Scorpio Neptune. Secrets in the family that one or both parents may have a personality disorder or harmful behavior that you don’t know about. The family appearing to society to be normal and loving. Confusing, deceptive, secretive, destructive, emotionally manipulative, dis-empowering, devaluing communication behind closed doors. Empowering, spiritual, inclusive, support for the child’s true personality, communication in public. Feeling alone and invisible in one’s immediate early environment. Never knowing what kinda of hell is gonna happen from day-to-day though the chaos was mostly confined to the weekend. The appearance of harmony in the daily environment. Overshadowed in terms of communication in the home. I’m sure there’s more but that’s all I can come up with right now.

The crazy part for me is that I thought much of what was going on in my household was a secret. Turns out that my birth mother’s family had some idea of what was going on. How do I know that? Well they revealed being witnesses to physical abuse when I was a toddler. Remember I said earlier that the 12th house is secrets that are unbeknownst to you. I don’t remember much prior to the age of 6 and what they were telling me was well before that age. (Neptune in the 3rd) And maybe it’s a good thing that I can’t remember.

All this time thinking that they had no clue about what was really going on at home (12th house Moon). Of course they did not have all the details because they were not living in the same city but there was an uncle who did live in the same city.  I’m finding out that this uncle talked regularly to his mother (my grandmother) about what was going on in my household.

I just found out something else. This uncle was going to pay (Venus) for me to go to college. My birth mother (Moon) refused to sign the paperwork. Yes, she refused to sign paperwork for her only child (natal Mercury conjunct Saturn) to get a college education (9th house NN) that was going to be paid for with someone else’s resources (Scorpio). What kind of mother does that?

I think this is reflected by my 8th house Sun/Mars conjunction as well especially with Uranus transiting this house and near my Sun along with Pluto transiting the 5th squaring my Sun.

Here’s another live and in living color astrology in action. A few weeks ago when Saturn was within 2 degrees of my Neptune, I was transporting my birth mother to her doctors appointment. We left there and made a stop at a chain pharmacy to pick up her prescriptions. I went in to get them as she said her feet won’t let her walk. As an aside, she has always had trouble with her feet but it has gotten progressively worse since my birth father died. I, her daughter has Saturn in Pisces and I don’t have problems with my feet and yes my Saturn is inconjunct/quincunx my Moon. Hmmm.

Anyway, I come out, get in my car to take her on yet another errand and my car will not crank. Turn the key and a bit of clicking, then nothing.

Remember I said in the last post that Saturn’s activation of Big G has awakened me to the reality of patterns of childhood interactions between me and my birth mother? Well, I have been getting warnings of the illusions I had regarding my mother for years but I ignored them. Without getting into all the details leading up to this, I feel like Saturn used this as the cosmic 2 × 4 to literally say, “Stop (Saturn)your participation in this BS (Scorpio) otherwise you will end up SOL, used up and up the creek without a paddle. What she’s said (3rd house) and what she’s done has not matched up.” Her actions are much louder than her words. (Mars in the 8th co-ruling the 3rd)

When we affirm the very best of and for our children, they have a very different view of their place in the place and position in the world. Don’t call them anything you don’t want them to be. Speak seeds of greatness in their minds, and they will grow into strong sturdy plants.”   Iyanla Vanzant

 

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3rd house Awareness to Pluto’s 4th house Departing Message pt1

I’ve found it quite coincidental that Mercury was retrograde ( I have Mercury retrograde natally in Pisces), Saturn and the North Node were all in Scorpio in my 3rd house and of course Pluto forming an exact square to Uranus who is transiting my 8th house, during Pluto’s last weeks in my 4th house.

What has occurred to me during this time is that having a Pluto-Uranus conjunction means whatever house or planet in the sign of Scorpio is not only ruled by Pluto and co-ruled by Mars, but it is also greatly influenced by Uranus. I’m sure I mentioned it before but if I did not, I was born just 3 days before one of the exact conjunctions so these to heavy hitters energies work like one. For me Scorpio is on my 3rd house which has Neptune conjunct the South Node.

Secretive, combative, confusing, detached, manipulative, jealous communication inflamed by alcohol and sexual abuse. Donna Van Toen in her book “The Astrologer’s Node Book” says that the 3rd house is education for survival. From another resource which I don’t remember where I got this from “…job or health of the mother”. Hmm…

Now who does the child get this education from and I mean before they go to pre-school or kindergarten? Their parents or legal guardians. And what planets/signs/axis are representative of  the parents? Moon/Cancer/generally the 4th house for the mother, Saturn/Capricorn/10th house for the father.

I find it ironic that she uses the word “survival” in describing the 3rd house as the first thing I think of when I hear the word “survival” is being in a life or death scenario and fighting like hell to ensure that one stays on the “life” side of the equation. I bet that’s because of having Scorpio on the 3rd with the ruler in the 1st, co-ruler in the 8th. It really has been and continues to be a battle (Mars) to keep my mind (Mercury) from slipping into the abyss (Neptune) because of absolutely shocking (Uranus) communication (Mercury)and actions (Mars) from those that society teaches to honor (Saturn) and were supposed to love and protect you (Moon-4th/Saturn-10th house axis).

I tie the Moon into to this because my 3rd house Neptune-South Node conjunction, squares my 12th house Moon and 6th house Venus and opposes my 9th house North Node. This grand square has affected my life more than my mutable t-square across the angular houses (1st/7th/10th) probably because it’s in fixed signs. It’s like no matter which direction I move in somebody in my life is not gonna be happy and I’m not gonna be happy or healthy…that is if I continue to follow the status quo. According to Steven Forrest in “The Book of Pluto”  “…Born with a Pluto-Uranus aspect in the natal chart, a person has made a bid for freedom…” Oh shit, I wonder if on a unconcious level they knew this especially as I began to talk and be curious about my environment? This is probably when the dissolution of my true personality began.

So on Oct 21st, the Taurus Moon conjuncting my North Node set off my t-square. I’m sure in cahoots with Pluto to force me finally do something I should have done a very long time ago-expose my mother and father’s behavior to my mother’s side of the family which I did on November 1st-the day of the 4th exact Uranus/Pluto square. True to form, it was a sudden (Uranus) communication of a secret of a sexual nature (Pluto/Scorpio) and alcoholism (Neptune/Pisces) that I had carried around inside for 34 years.

To be continued…

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Astrologer Nancy Fenn, RIP

English: This is an image of the planet Uranus...

English: This is an image of the planet Uranus taken by the spacecraft Voyager 2 in 1986 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

No sure if this is Uranus transiting my 8th house and conjunct my Sun related, but I was very shocked (Uranus) to learn that astrologer Nancy Fenn had passed (8th house) a few months ago.

I was on her email list and I have had a few mini specific topic readings done with her that I still refer to 5 years later. I also helped her albeit very briefly with prep work of drawing up charts on astro.com for her readings. I never thought about it until now but she really was the first person to introduce me to an actual birth chart other than my own.  Now for some strange mysterious reason, I dropped off her email sometime in 2009 I think.  Well, Neptune is in my 3rd house and I have a 7th house Mercury in Pisces-both retrograde so that kind of thing is really not all that uncommon in my life.

How in the world did we end up crossing paths again? I was doing a search on some astrological topic as I usually do and an old post of her’s on her blog came up. I remember reading that post when it was first published but as a Mercury retrograde native, I tend to re-read things a lot-mainly because I almost always discover something else I did not pick up on before and/or I get a better understanding the 2nd time around.

So I decided to see if she was still blogging since this particular blog post was written in 2008.  The last post on this blog was 2010. I thought this was kinda odd but not so much since I knew she had other websites and might have been more active with those. However, something told me to click on her Facebook badge. That’s when I found out the news.

How or why do I think this is related to my 8th house Uranus transit? . The notification date on Facebook of her passing was May 19. May 19 was my deceased father’s birthday, who passed away suddenly of a heart attack in 1998. Leo rules the heart. One of the things the Sun represents in the birth chart is the father/authority figure.

Now how does this relate to Nancy Fenn as of course, she was not my father? I tend to think the planets in your chart can represent real people in your life. Don’t quote me on this but I think Nancy was a Leo Sun. The sign that the Sun rules is Leo.  Uranus rules things like astrology and sudden events. Uranus is also aspecting, though via a minor one, my natal Mercury.  So putting it all together, sudden insight via astrology about your father and/or an authority figure. True for me in both cases as I’m learning more about my father via astrology and Ms Nancy was an authority figure for me at the time, about astrology.

In closing, I remember her asking me why did I want to take part in her little experiment in which I replied “It seems like it’s moving me along my North Node path and it’s (astrology) helping people to understand themselves. Of course, I’m only getting the charts ready so you can do the reading but it’s something and it’s helping me to learn”.

Thank you Nancy Fenn for being a brief though positive influence in my astrological world .  RIP.

 

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