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3rd house Awareness to Pluto’s 4th house Departing- Transiting Saturn as the Awakener, Saturn square Moon

This post began last year in August but for some reason I did not finish it.  But I am a Mercury retrograde conjunct Saturn in Pisces native with its ruler in the 3rd conjunct the SN. My thoughts sometimes go back down into the ether waiting for just the right trigger…and BAM. Somebody done pulled the pin on that grenade and I think it was Saturn.  I’m also thinking even though Pluto is now firmly in the 5th house, it’s still sitting on the cusp of the 4th and 5th houses.

The inspiration for the original post and now realizing what should have been part 1 of the 3rd house Awareness to Pluto’s 4th house Departing, came from a post on a astrology group that I used to be involved with. The question presented to us-when or what were your worse transits. I said July/Aug 1979. Now I don’t remember exactly what month it was.. but I know it was summertime, after school was out (June), after the holiday (July 4th), after my birth mother’s birthday and a hot early Sunday morning. OK to clarify since I use and will be using the term birth mother and birth father -I am not adopted. I had also mentioned that Saturn thru the 12th conjuncting my Moon the last time it was in Leo was also rough because it brought that life altering event day back to my memory as I had for years carried on as if nothing happened and how I had glossed over the reality of my childhood. Saturn’s conjunction of the Moon was the beginning of a new Saturn cycle about events and situations of the Moon and looking back at all that has gone on before.

So, as I edit this post transiting Saturn is conjunct my natal Neptune setting off Big G-my grand square or g-square as I like to call it. Big G consists of  my 3rd house Neptune conjunct the South Node in Scorpio opposing the 9th house North Node in Taurus squaring the 12th house Moon in Leo and the 6th house Venus in Aquarius.  This is the 1st square of Saturn and the Moon since the conjunction. And whatdayah know, my Progressed Moon has recently crashed in on this party as well conjuncting my North Node along with the Progressed Sun in waning conjunction. Ah ha…transiting Saturn opposing the Progressed Moon. The 4th/10th dynamics that I briefly mentioned in the last post at play here.

And adding fireworks to this party-Uranus. Yep, Uranus. The crazy part is, I just realized Uranus has been poppin’ off smoke bombs of wake your a** up in Big G for the last 3 years. First by sesquisquare/sesquiquadrate (135 aspect) to my Moon when @ 5-6 degrees of Aries. When Uranus moved to exact conjunction of my Sun, it activated my Sun/Venus semi-square, something that I picked up on and wrote about in “Transiting Minor Aspects-Not So Minor”.

Pluto has also dropped its own A bombs in the G starting with the Moon while in the early degrees of Capricorn while plowing through my 4th, stealthily leading the charge of reformation.

Then it hit me to go back and re-read to connect the dots…something I do a lot with a natal Mercury retrograde.  In Liz Greene’s book “Saturn- A New Look at an Old Devil”  she says this:

There is much that goes on within a human being of which he remains unaware, and this does not apply only to repressed emotions…If the individual makes no effort to expand his consciousness so that he can understand the nature of this total unfoldment and can begin to cooperate with it, then it will seem that he is the pawn of fate and has no control over his life. He can only earn his freedom by learning about himself so that he can understand what value a particular experience has for the development of his whole self. And nothing stimulates a man into this kind of exploration faster than frustration, which is the gift of Saturn…”

Erin Sullivan in her book “Saturn in Transit” refers to transiting Saturn as “Awakener”. Liz Greene basically says the same thing above. I know you’re saying Saturn as a Awakener?!! WTH are you talking about?!! Saturn is the task master, the disciplinary, the authority, the oppressor, the blocker, dark, heavy and all those things that sound absolutely nothing like a awakener or liberator, right? I was thinking the same thing when I first read that statement too.

But it really is true. For one thing Saturn ruled the sign of Aquarius before Uranus was discovered and is still the co-ruler of the sign of Aquarius which is well…the awakener, the liberator.  How and why do I see Saturn as a awakener?

Well when Saturn was in Leo and transiting my 12th house, I decided to stop putting relaxers of any kind in my hair.  That was an awakening/liberation/rebellion whatever you want to call it,  from the accepted standard of straight hair as the epitome of beauty. Saturn crossing my Ascendant took that awakening/liberation/rebellion even further by making dreadlocks of my hair. I also began to study astrology starting with my chart to find out why I was not feeling like my normal, relatively cheery, I’m here to help, let’s get stuff done self. Awakening my mind which the Moon represents in Vedic astrology. During this transit as I also began to acknowledge whether I wanted to or not, the repressed emotions about the very traumatic even in my life that occurred in 1979, the sexual molestation from my birth father, and the emotionally abusive relationship with my mother for the first time in my life.

Saturn transiting my 3rd house activating the mind and now square my Moon has awakened/liberated from the grave, the 12th house Moon secrets for the first time about that event in 1979 to family other than my husband and now to the world. It’s also made me face the reality of my 12th house Moon and let go of the hope (Neptune) that I have or ever had a family.  Like Liz Green said in the quote above, ya gotta EARN your freedom by doing the work. Pluto, Uranus and Neptune started the deep background dirty work but Saturn has laid it on the table in 3D where even Ray Charles can see what’s been going on.

To be continued…

 

 

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3rd house Awareness to Pluto’s 4th house Departing Message pt1

I’ve found it quite coincidental that Mercury was retrograde ( I have Mercury retrograde natally in Pisces), Saturn and the North Node were all in Scorpio in my 3rd house and of course Pluto forming an exact square to Uranus who is transiting my 8th house, during Pluto’s last weeks in my 4th house.

What has occurred to me during this time is that having a Pluto-Uranus conjunction means whatever house or planet in the sign of Scorpio is not only ruled by Pluto and co-ruled by Mars, but it is also greatly influenced by Uranus. I’m sure I mentioned it before but if I did not, I was born just 3 days before one of the exact conjunctions so these to heavy hitters energies work like one. For me Scorpio is on my 3rd house which has Neptune conjunct the South Node.

Secretive, combative, confusing, detached, manipulative, jealous communication inflamed by alcohol and sexual abuse. Donna Van Toen in her book “The Astrologer’s Node Book” says that the 3rd house is education for survival. From another resource which I don’t remember where I got this from “…job or health of the mother”. Hmm…

Now who does the child get this education from and I mean before they go to pre-school or kindergarten? Their parents or legal guardians. And what planets/signs/axis are representative of  the parents? Moon/Cancer/generally the 4th house for the mother, Saturn/Capricorn/10th house for the father.

I find it ironic that she uses the word “survival” in describing the 3rd house as the first thing I think of when I hear the word “survival” is being in a life or death scenario and fighting like hell to ensure that one stays on the “life” side of the equation. I bet that’s because of having Scorpio on the 3rd with the ruler in the 1st, co-ruler in the 8th. It really has been and continues to be a battle (Mars) to keep my mind (Mercury) from slipping into the abyss (Neptune) because of absolutely shocking (Uranus) communication (Mercury)and actions (Mars) from those that society teaches to honor (Saturn) and were supposed to love and protect you (Moon-4th/Saturn-10th house axis).

I tie the Moon into to this because my 3rd house Neptune-South Node conjunction, squares my 12th house Moon and 6th house Venus and opposes my 9th house North Node. This grand square has affected my life more than my mutable t-square across the angular houses (1st/7th/10th) probably because it’s in fixed signs. It’s like no matter which direction I move in somebody in my life is not gonna be happy and I’m not gonna be happy or healthy…that is if I continue to follow the status quo. According to Steven Forrest in “The Book of Pluto”  “…Born with a Pluto-Uranus aspect in the natal chart, a person has made a bid for freedom…” Oh shit, I wonder if on a unconcious level they knew this especially as I began to talk and be curious about my environment? This is probably when the dissolution of my true personality began.

So on Oct 21st, the Taurus Moon conjuncting my North Node set off my t-square. I’m sure in cahoots with Pluto to force me finally do something I should have done a very long time ago-expose my mother and father’s behavior to my mother’s side of the family which I did on November 1st-the day of the 4th exact Uranus/Pluto square. True to form, it was a sudden (Uranus) communication of a secret of a sexual nature (Pluto/Scorpio) and alcoholism (Neptune/Pisces) that I had carried around inside for 34 years.

To be continued…

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