More Saturn Awakening
Saturn is still performing the task 😉 of the Awakener busting down the thick layer of fog. As I mentioned in the last post Saturn is activating Big G.
Now the best description of the 12th house I’ve heard is actually from Vedic astrology. They say that the 12th house are secrets that are unknown to you.
So here’s my personal observation on a 12th house Leo Moon squaring a 3rd house Scorpio Neptune. Secrets in the family that one or both parents may have a personality disorder or harmful behavior that you don’t know about. The family appearing to society to be normal and loving. Confusing, deceptive, secretive, destructive, emotionally manipulative, dis-empowering, devaluing communication behind closed doors. Empowering, spiritual, inclusive, support for the child’s true personality, communication in public. Feeling alone and invisible in one’s immediate early environment. Never knowing what kinda of hell is gonna happen from day-to-day though the chaos was mostly confined to the weekend. The appearance of harmony in the daily environment. Overshadowed in terms of communication in the home. I’m sure there’s more but that’s all I can come up with right now.
The crazy part for me is that I thought much of what was going on in my household was a secret. Turns out that my birth mother’s family had some idea of what was going on. How do I know that? Well they revealed being witnesses to physical abuse when I was a toddler. Remember I said earlier that the 12th house is secrets that are unbeknownst to you. I don’t remember much prior to the age of 6 and what they were telling me was well before that age. (Neptune in the 3rd) And maybe it’s a good thing that I can’t remember.
All this time thinking that they had no clue about what was really going on at home (12th house Moon). Of course they did not have all the details because they were not living in the same city but there was an uncle who did live in the same city. I’m finding out that this uncle talked regularly to his mother (my grandmother) about what was going on in my household.
I just found out something else. This uncle was going to pay (Venus) for me to go to college. My birth mother (Moon) refused to sign the paperwork. Yes, she refused to sign paperwork for her only child (natal Mercury conjunct Saturn) to get a college education (9th house NN) that was going to be paid for with someone else’s resources (Scorpio). What kind of mother does that?
I think this is reflected by my 8th house Sun/Mars conjunction as well especially with Uranus transiting this house and near my Sun along with Pluto transiting the 5th squaring my Sun.
Here’s another live and in living color astrology in action. A few weeks ago when Saturn was within 2 degrees of my Neptune, I was transporting my birth mother to her doctors appointment. We left there and made a stop at a chain pharmacy to pick up her prescriptions. I went in to get them as she said her feet won’t let her walk. As an aside, she has always had trouble with her feet but it has gotten progressively worse since my birth father died. I, her daughter has Saturn in Pisces and I don’t have problems with my feet and yes my Saturn is inconjunct/quincunx my Moon. Hmmm.
Anyway, I come out, get in my car to take her on yet another errand and my car will not crank. Turn the key and a bit of clicking, then nothing.
Remember I said in the last post that Saturn’s activation of Big G has awakened me to the reality of patterns of childhood interactions between me and my birth mother? Well, I have been getting warnings of the illusions I had regarding my mother for years but I ignored them. Without getting into all the details leading up to this, I feel like Saturn used this as the cosmic 2 × 4 to literally say, “Stop (Saturn)your participation in this BS (Scorpio) otherwise you will end up SOL, used up and up the creek without a paddle. What she’s said (3rd house) and what she’s done has not matched up.” Her actions are much louder than her words. (Mars in the 8th co-ruling the 3rd)
“When we affirm the very best of and for our children, they have a very different view of their place in the place and position in the world. Don’t call them anything you don’t want them to be. Speak seeds of greatness in their minds, and they will grow into strong sturdy plants.” Iyanla Vanzant